It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
