Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
