Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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