I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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