i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I AM VODKA MAN
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
