We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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