Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
