Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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