Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Floor bacon is actually really good
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
