U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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