i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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