she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Drake has all the answers
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
