Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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