Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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