I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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