Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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