How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
