shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Randomize
