How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
