no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I faked an abortion last night.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
