i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
