He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
