I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
