my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
