Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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