So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm jealous of your bromance
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
