I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
