Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
