I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
