So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
