Swine flu. Run for my life!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
