Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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