is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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