She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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