it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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