Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
