OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize