Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
