did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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