Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
