is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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