At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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