In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
