I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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