those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
