OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
