Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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