Christians are straight up FREAKS
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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