4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
