I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I didn't notice because vodka
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
