we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
