just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
