Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
where does the pee come out of this thing
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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