you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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