you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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