we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
