so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
