hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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