No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
